An Announcement (Drumroll Please)

The Name’s MAT. GMAT.

Okay everybody, gather ’round. I have an announcement to make. That’s right, you guessed it! I have a boyfriend. His name is GMAT (MAT for short). He and I are going to be a very committed couple for the next several weeks. In fact, the date of our first DTR is already set. (For those of you who are unsure about this term and why I’m using so many acronyms all of a sudden, I can tell you that DTR stands for “Define the Relationship.” It is a mandatory checkpoint for all insecure couples that usually happens sporadically. MAT and I have decided to plan out our entire relationship so we have a leg up on the “cute couple” competition. I’m predicting it will gain us major sympathy points in case I stress out and lose my mind.) We are going to take it swift and steady for the next eight weeks and then the big “test date” is going to be November 24th. We agreed it’s best to wait until then to decide if we’re going anywhere together for Thanksgiving. It’s always a little awkward (and misleading) if you bring someone home to meet the parents too early in the relationship – especially if it’s a holiday. Anyway we decided to be inseparable every Tuesday and Thursday night, and since I’m not too crazy about hanging out with him on Friday or Saturday nights, we compromised and decided on Saturday mornings instead. I really hope it works out, especially since I’m working within a strict time limit. (I mean, does he really expect me to know everything about him in eight weeks??)

I wasn’t going to mention this next part but he doesn’t read my blog so I don’t think he’ll ever find out. It’s just that something’s been bugging me … I thought it was kind of odd that I had to pay money upfront for this whole “relationship” thing. I mean, don’t couples normally spend money on each other a little at a time? And doesn’t the guy usually pay more than the girl? Well, I guess I can just consider this a quirky social experiment because I’m doing all of the spending. However, he promised that if the test/DTR thing goes well then there could be “tremendous payoff.” Gosh, it sounds like my whole future revolves around him. All I can say is it had better be worth the hundreds of dollars I’ve already paid. He even mentioned that we might have to have a second “test date” in January. He said that a lot of people who have pursued him have majorly choked during the first DTR. I have no idea how that could happen but based on the 10 pound dating manual I received today (pictured above), I guess I can see how some people get really nervous.

I know what you’re thinking – I’m crazy for starting to date someone right before the holiday season. However, I have to say that I’m kind of excited about it. I already have my dating life planned out for the next 3-4 months. After all, it is the Fall of Focus. “Grab the bull by the horns” is totally in season. Honestly the worst-case scenario would be that I miserably bomb on November 24th, MAT and I end things and I just keep going on with my life. Isn’t that what happens after all breakups? People survive, right? I mean, I have heard of people’s hearts practically imploding but actually that was something I read in a Twilight book so it might not be true. I guess I’m more concerned about being out a few hundred bucks. You can take issue with my choice of timing just as long as you don’t say anything about my choice to pursue MAT.

Some may say, “Amber, why are doing this? You have everything you need. You don’t need to go through all of this trouble.” To that I would reply, “I’m too comfortable with my current situation and I feel like it is time to put myself out there.” Yes, even if it means “buying” a boyfriend. Okay, now I feel I've said too much so on that awkward note - wish me luck! Er, uh, I mean…wish US luck! This is definitely going to be a team effort.

…..

Okay, okay, enough of the shenanigans. For real, if you have tips on how to ace the GMAT (General Management Aptitude Test = prerequisite for applying to MBA programs), then send them my way. I really want to do well and I feel like if it is meant to be then it will work out. If not, something else will. For now I just want to focus on Plan A. Plan B’s can be a real pain in the you-know-what.