Fall of Fortitude

fortitude: mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously

Last night I watched one of my all-time favorite movies, “Dan in Real Life,” with a group of close friends. One scene stuck out to me like never before. Dan and his daughters were in the midst of an annual family reunion when he inadvertently fell for his brother’s girlfriend. In an effort to get away from the couple and their lighthearted flirting he took his daughter, niece and nephew on an impromptu field trip:

The scene reminded me something that happened back in August. I was sitting on my couch and spotted a Book of Mormon on a nearby shelf. It was the standard paperback issue the missionaries carry around. One of my friends had left it in my apartment by accident while he was on splits with the elders. On that particular afternoon my head was whirling. Something rather confusing had happened and I wasn’t sure what it meant. I didn’t know if I should feel hope or indifference. I picked up the book, closed my eyes, flipped it around a few times so I wouldn’t know which cover was which, and opened it. Keeping my eyes closed I placed my finger on the page. I opened my eyes and read Ether 2:23:

And the Lord said unto the brother of Jared: What will ye that I should do that ye may have light in your vessels? For behold, ye cannot have windows, for they will be dashed in pieces; neither shall ye take fire with you, for ye shall not go by light of fire.

I recognized the story. The brother of Jared had just built eight barges so his people could cross the ocean and inherit the Promised Land. The barge design was completely enclosed except for a hole in the top and in the bottom which would allow for light and air whenever the barge was on the surface of the water. The brother of Jared had just asked, “Behold, O Lord, wilt thou suffer that we shall cross this great water in darkness?” (Ether2:22). The Lord continued:

For behold, ye shall be as a whale in the midst of the sea; for the mountain waves shall dash upon you. Nevertheless, I will bring you up again out of the depths of the sea; for the winds have gone forth out of my mouth, and also the rains and the floods have I sent forth.

And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea? (Ether 2:24-25)

Before I continue the story of the brother of Jared I want stop and look closely at these verses. First off the Lord compares the barges to whales in the sea. The barges were designed to be completely submerged while withstanding a beating from the ocean. Waves, winds, and floods are each mentioned twice. Once the elements let up the barges could return to the surface of the water and the top hole could be unstopped to allow for new air. The word “prepare” is mentioned three times in verse 25. The brother of Jared’s preparation included building the barges but it didn’t end there. The Lord promised to prepare the people to cross the waters by giving them light. He challenged the brother of Jared to figure out how to light each barge.

The mere prospect of riding in a modern-day submarine freaks me out quite a bit. The idea of time-traveling back to the era of the Tower of Babel and watching people construct vessels with no steering equipment freaks me out even more. As mentioned in verse 23 there were no windows - only a measly skylight in the top of each barge. The people were expected to commend the vessels to the sea and leave all steering in the hands of the Lord. Okay, I might be able to get on board with that but then the Lord promises to hammer them with waves, winds and floods. Holy cow.

Luckily the brother of Jared was a man of great faith, “highly favored of the Lord” (Ether 1:34). Through his faith and prayers he and Jared successfully avoided the confounding of tongues at the Tower of Babel (Ether 1:33-35). The Lord spread that blessing to his family, Jared’s family and their friends and family (Ether 1:36-37). The brother of Jared had led these people away from the tower and through the wilderness on their way to the Promised Land (Ether 1:38-43). He had already had a hand at testing out similar barges in the sea in the wilderness (Ether 2:6-7). Having already spent at least four years in the wilderness with these people he certainly knew their strengths and abilities. Some part of him knew the voyage was possible. Instead of backing down he stepped up to the Lord’s challenge and came up with a solution for lighting the barges. “And it came to pass that the brother of Jared, (now the number of the vessels which had been prepared was eight) went forth unto the mount, which they called the mount Shelem, because of its exceeding height, and did molten out of a rock sixteen small stones; and they were white and clear, even as transparent glass; and he did carry them in his hands upon the top of the mount,” (Ether 3:1).

The third chapter of Ether gives an amazing account of the brother of Jared praying to the Lord for forgiveness and pleading with him to touch the sixteen stones, “…that they shall shine forth unto us in the vessels which we have prepared, that we may have light when we cross the sea,” (Ether3:4). Paraphrasing can do this chapter no justice. It’s worth a review if you have a few minutes.

After the Lord touched the stones, “the brother of Jared came down out of the mount, and he did put forth the stones into the vessels which were prepared, one in each end thereof; and behold, they did give light unto the vessels” (Ether 6:2). The final preparations were made and once all of the supplies were gathered the people, “got aboard of their vessels or barges, and set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God” (Ether 6:4). We know that the Lord always makes good on his promises:

And it came to pass that the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind.

And it came to pass that they were many times buried in the depths of the sea, because of the mountain waves which broke upon them, and also the great and terrible tempests which were caused by the fierceness of the wind. (Ether 6:6-7)

Although they were driven down into the dark waters time and time again, “no water … could hurt them,” (Ether 6:7) because of the manner and quality of the construction of the barges. Their physical preparation was sufficient and their spiritual preparation was constantly tested. In order to return to the surface the people would “cry unto the Lord.” The wind driving them to the Promised Land was constant as were their songs of praise and prayers of thanks (Ether 6:8-9).

And thus they were driven forth; and no monster of the sea could break them, neither whale that could mar them; and they did have light continually, whether it was above the water or under the water. (Ether 6:10)

These remarkable people survived these conditions for 344 days (Ether 6:11). That is three weeks shy of a year! If I had to choose between spending 344 days in a sea-tossed barge or 344 days crossing the plains with the pioneers I would probably pick the pioneer trek. That’s saying a lot!

And they did land upon the shore of the promised land. And when they had set their feet upon the shores of the promised land they bowed themselves down upon the face of the land, and did humble themselves before the Lord, and did shed tears of joy before the Lord, because of the multitude of his tender mercies over them. (Ether 6:12)

I’m grateful for that day back in August that led me to rediscover the story of the brother of Jared. Much of the tumult and confusion of summer has passed and, as predicted, fall is settling me down into a new, calmer rhythm. As a result I’m vulnerable to a constantly creeping false sense of security. Although I’m not in a barge several meters under the ocean’s surface I am living in a wild world full of dangers and temptations. Perhaps the greatest danger is forgetting I need God and the greatest temptation is to become lax in following His commandments. I want my heart and my testimony to be fortified and tight, “light unto a dish” (Ether 2:17). I don’t mean I want my heart to be closed. I just want to make sure I open it at the opportune times to let in new light and air. (Metaphorical light and air, that is. I don’t want a pulmonary embolism!)

I have kept Ether 2:24-25 on my bathroom mirror for the last month and a half. Remarkably September is already coming to a close. I’ve had many joyful days this month. Sometimes things are going so well I look at my bathroom mirror and think, “How could I have ever needed that scripture?” In those moments I carefully read the verses out loud and remind myself that anything can change at any moment. God has promised challenges and he has also promised deliverance. May I never cease to see his miracles in my life.

Walking in Faith

The 11th anniversary on 9/11 is this week. Today I watched a 2 hour special on 9/11 on MSNBC and I was reminded of an extraordinary special I saw on TLC last year. It was called "Heroes of the 88th Floor." I noticed it is re-airing this week. If you have a chance to watch it I highly recommended it. Last September 25th I gave a talk in church and I thought I'd post it here. I'm still trying to keep my promise to never, ever forget.

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I fear many things in life due to the fact that I watched “Rescue 911” as a kid. I can’t remember many specific incidents on the show but several overall impressions stick with me even today. (1.) Whitewater rafting is dangerous. (2.) You are really in trouble if you’re being lifted out by helicopter. (3.) It is a very good idea to learn CPR. The most important impression was (4.) There are everyday heroes. Many times the stories of the incidents portrayed on the show were recounted by the victims and the rescuers – both professional and civilian Good Samaritans who happened to be close enough to help. Paramedics and 911 dispatchers were often reunited with people they had helped and it was so joyful to witness the bond shared between people who would otherwise be strangers. While I may have grown into a somewhat trepid adult, watching shows like “Rescue 911” “Top Cops” and “America’s Most Wanted” solidified in me a desire to be a rescuer.

When I graduated from high school in 2001 I planned to realize my dreams of heroism by becoming a paramedic. After careful consideration I thought it would be best to earn a bachelor’s degree before beginning EMT training. One morning during my first semester of junior college I woke up in time for my first class. After groggily listening to my clock radio for a minute I realized something was very wrong. I turned on my television to see images of the Twin Towers collapsing. To tell you the truth I had no idea the World Trade Center even existed. I was 17 and I had never once thought of the financial district in New York City. I’m sure many of you remember seeing cars with American flag stickers and hastily printed t-shirts that said things like, “United We Stand,” and “We Will Never Forget.” I promised to do the same.

Much has changed in the last 10 years. I never became a paramedic. I’ve accomplished a few things but there are some promises I’ve fallen down on. I’d like to say that I’ve constantly kept the victims of 9/11 in my heart and mind. In truth I have forgotten, remembered, and forgotten again. Just as specific episodes of “Rescue 911” have faded from my memory, the overall impression I remember from 9/11 was that there are those that seek to destroy us. “For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things,” (2 Nephi 2:11). Each Sunday we have a chance to remember the sacrifice of our Savior Jesus Christ and the covenants we have made as members of His church. The sacramental prayers, found in D&C Section 20, implore that we remember the body and blood of the Son, that we are willing to take His name upon us, always remember him and keep his commandments, that we may have his Spirit to be with us. (D&C 20:77-78).

Unfortunately days, weeks and years constantly pass us by. Before we know it we find ourselves saying, “I can’t remember the last time I bore my testimony, or really considered the atonement…” Instead we have a bright awareness of the last time we were reminded of the “opposition in all things.” The steps we take on our life’s journey become a little more cautious, a little less guided, and a little more burdensome. Satan would gladly cloud the path to righteousness and point our faces to the ground in shame and frustration. In John 8:12 Jesus said, “I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” (In Leviticus 26:12 we read, “And I will walk among you, and will be your God, and ye shall be my people.”) Psalms 138:7 reads, “Though I walk in the midst of trouble, thou wilt revive me: thou shalt stretch forth thine hand against the wrath of mine enemies, and thy right hand shall save me.” In a revelation given to Joseph Smith in D&C 90:24 we read, “Search diligently, pray always and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if you walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another.” In Mosiah 18:8-9 we are reminded of the baptismal covenant: we are to come into fold of God, be called his people, bear one another’s burdens, mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort, stand as witnesses of God even until death that we may be redeemed of God, be numbered with those of the first resurrection, and have eternal life.

Why are we asked to stand as witnesses of God even until death? Perhaps it is because the Savior willingly died for us, but not before suffering for the sins of the entire world. Jesus Christ understood our Father’s plan and he willingly obeyed it. In “Jesus the Christ” President James E. Talmage wrote, “Christ’s agony in the garden is unfathomable by the finite mind, both as to intensity and cause. … He struggled and groaned under a burden such as no other being who has lived on earth might even conceive as possible. It was not physical pain, nor mental anguish alone, that caused Him to suffer such torture as to produce an extrusion of blood from every pore; but a spiritual agony of soul such as only God was capable of experiencing. ... In that hour of anguish Christ met and overcame all the horrors that Satan, ‘the prince of this world’ could inflict. ...”

We cannot relate to the pain Christ suffered in Gethsemane. We have a vague understanding of the physical torture he endured after being taken into custody and before He commended His spirit to our Father in Heaven. Mocked and scorned to the brink of death, Jesus, having endured several hours on the cross, cried out, (p. 613) “‘My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?’ What mind of man can fathom the significance of that awful cry? It seems, that in addition to the fearful suffering incident to crucifixion, the agony of Gethsemane had recurred, intensified beyond human power to endure. In that bitterest hour the dying Christ was alone, alone in the most terrible reality. That the supreme sacrifice of the Son might be consummated in all its fullness, the Father seems to have withdrawn the support of His immediate Presence, leaving to the Savior of men the glory of complete victory over the forces of sin and death.”

How can we not love someone who has gone through all of this for us? John 15:13 reads, “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” 2 John 1:6 says, “And this is love, that we walk after his commandments.” Elder James E. Faust said, “Blessed are those who need no reasons other than their love for the Savior to keep his commandments,” (1991). What is the greatest commandment of all? “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself,” (Matt 22:37-39). For me personally it is a little easier to believe in the goodness of mankind when I hear about acts of heroism. It is a little easier to secretly serve a complete stranger than to openly profess love to those I am closest to. I think it would be easy to push a child out of the way of oncoming traffic. Why is it so hard to pull myself out of a life of sin? Perhaps I hope my final act would merit me some special consideration in the judgment. In the April 2011 General Conference Elder Russell M. Ballard said, “We live to die, and we die to live again. From an eternal perspective, the only death that is truly premature is the death of one who is not prepared to meet God.” We cannot be prepared to meet God if we cannot make the effort to remember his commandments and the sacrifice of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We know better.

Just as every Sunday gives us a palpable opportunity to remember the atonement, every September 11^th give us an opportunity to honor the events that unfolded in 2001. TLC prepared a special program called “Heroes of the 88^th Floor” which aired two weeks ago. It focused on two Port Authority workers, Frank De Martini and Pablo Ortiz, who worked on the 88^th floor of the North Tower. After the plane struck they painstakingly worked their way upstairs to the 91^st floor, rescuing trapped people all along the way. One of the men they rescued was Thomas Haddad who worked on the 89^th floor. Thomas and his colleagues recalled the calm manner in which everyone descended the 2,000 steps to the exit. Many remarked that if even one person had lost it and pushed their way down to ground level there would have been massive panic. Instead everyone was orderly, calm and concerned for one another’s well-being. Thomas had reached the lobby and exited the building and he couldn’t comprehend the scene of devastation outside. Eventually he stopped walking and at that moment he heard the glass begin to crack in the South Tower. Although the South Tower was hit second, it was the first to fall. Thomas ran from the debris cloud but it came too fast. He thought, “This is it. I’m going to get hit.” He said the debris cloud hit him like cement. He couldn’t see anything and the noise was so completely overpowering his ears only understood silence. He was completely alone and convinced this would be the end of him. He sat on the ground as the fight drained out of him. “Just let it happen,” he told himself. “Just let it go. It’s okay.” Then something remarkable happened. He was reminded of a conversation he’d had with his wife days after the anniversary of the death of her father who had died when she was 15. “Whatever you do don’t leave me. Don’t leave me young.” Out of love for his wife and respect for the promise he’d made to her, he managed to pull himself off the ground. He envisioned what the street had looked like before the blinding ash cloud had covered everything familiar. He knew there was a sidewalk and a building. He put his shirt over his face and held his hands out. He walked to the curb and straight into the building where he remained safe from further physical peril.

At this time the North Tower was still standing and Frank and Pablo were still inside. They were last seen on the 78^th floor. In the hour and 42 minutes before the North Tower fell they managed to save the lives of 77 people. To know the names of two more people who were in the North Tower when it collapsed changed my view completely. I lost brothers and sisters that day. We all did. Due to the sheer number of people who witnessed the heroic acts of Frank and Pablo and lived to tell about it their story will not be forgotten. We all know there were more stories of heroism that for now must remain untold. There were more lives lost than we can comprehend. Families will never be able to bury their loved ones but we know that in the perfect plan of our Heavenly Father all families can be eternal. Though we may not all be trained as professional rescue workers we can be saviors on Mount Zion through serving in the temple. As President Gordon B. Hinckley stated, “Just as our Redeemer gave His life as a vicarious sacrifice for all men, and in so doing became our Savior, even so we, in a small measure, when we engage in proxy work in the temple, become as saviors to those on the other side who have no means of advancing unless something is done in their behalf by those on earth,” (General Conference 2004).

Brothers and sisters, our world is falling. Don’t let those you know fall with it. We have much work to do now as Latter-day Saints. I take great comfort in knowing that those who have perished, those who have been turned to dust in Satan’s war on humanity, will one day be fully restored. “O how great the plan of our God! For one the other hand, the paradise of God must deliver up the spirits of the righteous, and the grave deliver up the body of the righteous; and the spirit and the body is restored to itself again, and all men become incorruptible, and immortal, and they are living souls, having a perfect knowledge like unto us in the flesh, save it be that our knowledge shall be perfect. Wherefore, we shall have a perfect knowledge of all our guilt, and our uncleanliness, and our nakedness; and the righteous shall have a perfect knowledge of their enjoyment, and their righteousness, being clothed with purity, yea, even with the robe of righteousness,” (2 Nephi 9:13-14). Please don’t forget the promises of our Lord. Let us not neglect the plight of those who have passed from this life without knowledge of the gospel. May we walk in faith and never in fear is my humble prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.