The First

I suppose there is a first time for everything. Today I was reading about the internet in my Comms 101 textbook and I decided to create a blog and use it as a journal. I named the blog "Discovering Me" because the whole point is to figure out who I am, what I like and what I'm made of. If I don't write this stuff down I'll never remember it.

The true inspiration for this endeavor comes from a recent viewing of "Runaway Bride." The movie, starring Julia Roberts, came to theaters almost exactly 11 years ago. I was 15-years-old and joined the flock of summer moviegoers looking for a couple hours of diversion. It was an enjoyable day. I hadn't seen the movie since. This time round I was perturbed by it's sickly sweet and unrealistic romantic comedy format. More importantly, Julia Roberts' character left me feeling uneasy about people my age who don't know who they are, what they're doing or what they want. (Julia Roberts was 31 when the movie was released and I'm assuming her character was supposed to be in her mid to late twenties.) As is the case in so many chick flicks, an experienced and handsome man was required to steer the unknowingly ill-fated ingenue back to the path of bliss and happiness.

In the movie Richard Gere's character (Ike) unlocks the treasure chest of self discovery by prompting Maggie to find out how she likes her eggs. How she likes her eggs? Yes, that's what I said. On her journey to self discovery she manages to ditch her fourth fiancee, flee from Ike as he hopefully waits for her at the altar, and then magically decide she's going to be an industrial designer and run a successful business with NYC vendors. Okay, that seems like a bit of a jump. Can eggs really be the key? I know I like my eggs scrambled, or occasionally made into a 3-egg omelet (in which case I throw out the third yoke). Hard boiled eggs are great and deviled eggs are even better, but what does it mean?

Truth be told I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I have a degree and a great job, but I have no five year plan. Sometimes I'm afraid I don't know who I am. While I may have just touted an intolerable cliché, I think there's some value in admitting it. Maybe it is in part due to my easy upbringing. I grew up in a liberal state. My home life provided the perfect balance of structure and shelter. I enjoyed a wonderful college education divided between my hometown and a conservative Christian town a few states away. I have lived abroad, traveled expansively and have the means to go where I want and do what I want. In other words, my life to this point has been no trial by fire. Perhaps there is more dross than gold in my composition. Maybe the tough self-discovery experiences are still ahead of me. If that is the case, I plan to take in life one experience at a time and try to capture the most interesting happenings in upcoming blog entries. In the meantime I can enjoy chick flicks, eat eggs and dream of the day when I can say, "This is who I am and what I want to do." No Richard Gere necessary.


  1. Wow so profound sister!! This is a wonderful entry and I love how honest you are in it! Can't wait for more. Cheers.

  2. Anonymous10/7/10 19:31

    I feel the same sense of estrangement from purpose in my own existence. How to strike a balance between gratitude and divine discontent, I do not know. And that's the annoying thing about life--it's usually a matter of balance. If it were all one or the other, I'd be fine. Ascetic monk, hedonistic dissipated lush--I could play either role. But to be neither prudish nor excessive? I struggle with that one.

    As for some "trial by fire," if you really want one, my advice is to violate your covenants flagrantly. Not that trials always mean sin, just that sin always means trials.

    Cool blog.

    PS--I'm a compulsive spell-checker.
    " experience and handsome man..." should read " experienced and handsome man..."

  3. Very nice, you are a great writer.

  4. I'm excited to keep reading!

  5. Welcome to the blogging world!